Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
