why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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