how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
