Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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