Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
