So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
