the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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