I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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