I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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