Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
love makes seman taste better
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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