You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize