Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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