I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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