Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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