She is in my trunk
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
