last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
