It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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