I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Drunk is not a location!
PANTIES FOUND
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