Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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