Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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