Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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