I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You are a genius and a whore.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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