are you still at the devil's house?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
