I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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