I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i would punch a child for taco bell
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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