Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
