anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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