honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
