Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm both gender and math confused
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
