hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Panties = found
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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