idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you never un-have a 4some
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
