After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
