We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
