I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
