i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
