fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
