sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
