I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
