i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We have so much sex to catch up on
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
