Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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