If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
