have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
