there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
