Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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