i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize