I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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