I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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