I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
