I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
