i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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