Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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