so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize