This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
