he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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