The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She bit a glass in half.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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