Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
