At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
