you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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