Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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