there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
