i already hear my dad disowning me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
