i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
